chiastory

PAIn PAin Pain

2009-03-24T18:43:00.004+08:00

im in pain! doing assignment, sian sian sian. cant concentrate at all... hai every few moment! simply dont know wat to write. blogging ba...

i miss home a lot, miss my family, my friends, and kev... learn to cherish frens now tat im here in Adelaide... neglected some frens who once were close to me, who never forget to send me their well wishes here. tell myself i will make time for everyone when back... miss dear a lot, hope my misses not a nuisance to him... im always on the negative side... maybe i jus need some time to get use to long distance relationship, no everyday sms or msn, no more sweet words, or maybe to imply from the stitches story is our way of conveying love??? wan so much to share with him everything... wan to listen to his voice even when there is nothing to be said... felt sad n helpless when he is sick bec i cant comfort him. i learn to control my emotion better le.

learn a lot about myself. my negative side. also learn hw to treat myself better, to ask myself wat i really wan or need, to know i have a choice, to not compare, to be more independent learner and everythin, to be more decisive, to be more proactive, resourceful, to start recognize road names n direction... im trying... i don know hw much i change or learn at the end of the yr, but i hope im brave for my family, a better person in everyday life and relationship, a better physio.

farewell

2009-02-28T12:25:00.005+08:00

5/2 farewell wishes from everyone. make a stupid comment tat meant to be lighthearted n funny.i say mus take photos with more impt frens (shan liang sister) first...think i upset ying cos she jus recover n specially come down after work to send her best wishes for me...also sorry i din put our poly fren photos in e album tat i bring to aust bec there is no recent nice ones and din bother to inform jing xuan tat im leaving...i leave to salan to arrange for a gathering then and din bother to find out more when salan say she cant contact her...feel sad then...mum control herself well by talking to my fren who try to preoccupied her, tat im really grateful.kev also call me but my mind was not there to talk to him,occupied w thoughts tat i cant make everyone happy and tired as i only slept 2 hrs last night.im really touched by all who came.i took family photos w nai nai n relative.everyone was putting money into my pocket for best wishes in aust.heng min help carry my bag, xiao mei n linda brought me food to eat on the plane and small bear as farewell and a surprise gift from xiaomei which i later found out to be yi ji mei dvd.so touched when reading her letter.cards with best wishes from linda, geraldine,ying, connie and kelly n jh n ke xin with a bon voyage notebook...thanks to salan, ying, grace, sin yi who came after long day o work...cant believe tat im leaving le.thank everyone

boring sat

2008-10-04T14:10:00.002+08:00

Grandma birthday coming. sis, her bf and dear & me come together to bake cup cake for grandma. Technically, cake is make by sis bf and bake by us. By trial & error, we finally come out with the ideal baking time for cake not biscuit for my new oven. e guys suggested squeezing the dough mixture into little paper cake cups, less messy & more time efficient. but we don have e material. kev din give up looking for material. later we put some dough into transparent plastic bag, cut e small hole & squeeze out e dough proportionally into e cake cups. initially, i have doubt whether it will be work, ask him to try some dough dun waste it. ha. it works. we have 2 boxes of biscuit failure & 1 box of cupcakes!!! ha. nonetheless, they all taste "not bad" la.

took 1 whole week off before chinese new year to spent time with bf, family, pack room & house, spring cleaning, pack my luggage, make some new year goodies, shopping for new year stuff etc etc. im looking forward to e real long break!!! 4 more months to australia. hope good news from HR.

CHIA IS BACK!!!!

2008-09-15T23:33:00.006+08:00

due to popular demand from loyal readers,
CHIA IS BACK after a year of waiting!
ha! no more anticipation, fulfill ya reading desire ba! happy reading!

13/9/08
happy kOne singing session with kel, jh, kx, connie, nkh & kj.
thanks gals for celebrating my birthday every year.
this year more so memorable because my 2 groups of closest friends
come together for my day.
i love e birthday wishes, e cake, e tidbits, e songs that mark our friendship,
e Adidas jacket that warm my heart everywhere i go
& e touching presentation that show our growing up.
also at the games arcade,
hui really surprise n touched my heart when she tried to grap stitch softtoy for me.
it really touched me to know how much a friend can do to make me happy.
I'm always so protected n care for in their company.
i nv felt left out....
thanks gals for the happy memories.

stepping into the working world

2007-05-30T08:43:00.000+08:00

stepping into the working world soon! feeling a sense of heavy responsibility from myself, my patient, my family, uncertainty, stress, anticipation... mixed feelings. since my last paper, i have not wasted most days. been in love, been to many places of interests, botanical garden, sentosa, underwater world, dolphin lagoon, cable car night viewing, night safari, mt faber etc...have fun, learnt many many precious lessons like how to shower love, how to manage my feelings, better communication at times, realise i hold my words lightly at times; neglecting little promises i made, not making enough effort n channel to show care, concern n love for dear, friends n family, also work like crazy for 3 days for creative cathering @ expo, sentosa n wisma fashion show events. i am glad i spent time with dear, able to share my relationship status to family n many who asked, had so much laughter n memories with shan liang sisters in genting, glad tat hui shan finally talk to me, glad tat i can meet up with poly friends before work n able to exchange updates with px n shu jing over phone, grateful that i can visit my two grandma and grateful tat i still have a chance to make an effort to start showing again more care, concern n love to my sis... i hope to be strong again, make some household decision n changes and share my family burden n problem. i shall be brave! i will embrace everything with the most positive attitude! thanks to all who hear me out. all i ask is ya acknowledgement, ya support, ya assurance, ya smile!

heartache...

2007-05-14T06:04:00.000+08:00

very much in love... only 3 weeks into e relationship and i felt like i been through so much... sometimes i feel as sweet as honey, sometimes i feel stringing pain... sometimes i smile and sleep, sometimes i cry to sleep... maintaining a relationship is an art... totally different from being with friends where there is no expectation, jus being together anywhere, anything, anytime... i feel i don deserve this love at all... done a terrible thing somehow and hurt the one i very much loved. i feel so tired, emotionally drained but mentally still fighting on bec i do wanna continue loving n cherishing him... din regret having loved and to give whatever little love i can and to have him... i learnt so much... how to deal w all e misses, opening up with each date, how to shower love, reflecting on what i could have improve on, realising once again how difficult it is to maintain any relationship, what it takes in any relationship and how i take for granted all the love showered on me from friends and family in my life... i need to seriously think n act to make changes i once vow... things r not perfect... and i never expected it to be so but the least i wanted is to learnt how to give love and to let it come in... but i seem to fail both terribly somehow... but i wont give up yet... i haven even try... no matter how hurt i am unwillingly, i wont give up bec he is worth my every love n wait... love is afterall a risk u have to venture bravely. kevin... i do veri much love u so... not asking for forgiveness but asking for a chance to give u xin fu again if i ever make u feel so... i cant help but sorry is the only word i can find... i cant remember how many sorrysss i have said since knowing u... countless... give me some time to settle down again, to express myself truthfully, to understand your thoughts, your world, your dreams, your every words, know, feel n share your feelings and to make an effort n give n make u feel loved over and over!

and I'll never let u go...

FYP presentations

2007-04-22T07:09:00.000+08:00

finally our fyp presentation is over. cant tell u how proud, touched and happy i am to receive applause from everyone after i bow and say thank u from e bottom of my heart to all for listening to our one yr of effort. many ppl actually tell me first time they understand our project! great! tat means i success in conveying the message across and no qns from e floor! yep, fyp is a learning process for all of us. forgive me for not being appreciative enough, for stressing everyone out, for not being trusting enough, for using harsh words to get quality work done... and thanks to everyone for all e hugs, encouragement, sweets and compliments! also, thanks to kevin for the surprise and for being ard... all my effort ended up w "sweets" return n memories.

2007-04-14T09:00:00.000+08:00

cant imagine i actually send chain msg to my friends... i nv believe in it, simply delete away... but i guess i need all the luck todae... was in a state of uncertainty? i am one of the presenter for the trial fyp presentation... was not very convince with the slides tat i did.. somehow i feel something is wrong even before i started... from e feedback, clear up a lot o stuff and a new focus was reached. happi tat our gp members r finally motivated again... afterall, we r in it for a year! portia and others comment tat i was great, look veri calm when actually was nervous inside... wat surprise me was the breakdown of many of my classmates... and they alway seem so strong to me... guess e disappointment was too much to bear... a hug was wat i give to tell them its okie, we r together n i think u r great... i treasure this practice bec it means we can do much better next sat, our actual presentation to e fellow junior, physiotherapists and assessors.

10/4, staying over at portia hse was great... cant imagine we actually manage to finish our vestibular rehabilitation presentation in jus one nite.. sourcing for articles, reading n doing e slides etc. thought we wont be able to slp tat nite but guess wat, we finish one plus, e earliest nite i can rest in that week. and our lecturer told us we were great, was veri comprehensive, evidence-based and the demonstration was a good attempt. haha!

yep, i feel veri much protected in portia company... she a great friend to me... buyin dessert for me to gain weight during attachment, alway remembering i'm a vege and cook for me, alway willing to share her info w me, forgiving me for my stubbornness n everything and encouraging me with her smile... somehow, i jus din reciprocal as much through i acknowledge and was touched by little small details... guess it bec o her character, alway happy go lucky yet determined and independent. someone who picked herself up veri fast... and e least person i would expect a breakdown... i feel so upset and disappointed with my childish behavior tat day... i din know tat she was throwin a tantrum bec she was simply too stressed...thought its bec o her dream tat someone snatch her book and din return to her... then when she had my note by mistake but refuse to return me, i realli dun know whether she was playin w me or wat...it a misunderstanding, till nw, i still dun know wat happen! but at tat pt, i thought she was joking so i jus snatch back lo n she snatch back... aw, aft e whole incident, was thinkin as a friend, she was already traumatize by e dream, wat e big deal w e notes, jus photostat again lo... was so upset, cried on my way home...but i guess it was also bec i am so tired and stress up w everything. all well now. i have total faith in walking through my next and last week with all e support from everybody!!!

luck!!!

2007-04-09T16:19:00.001+08:00

3 more weeks to go... finish one viva today... pray hard this morn and guess what, i got the same conditions in the case study i had during my interview with TTSH... cant believe all the luck i had since last week... cant believe i can still sleep even when i din finish studying and half-complete my assignment due today... getting bolder man... ownself delay dateline and skipping lessons... haha. thanks for shirlynn hug before the test. have been getting so much love and encouragement from surrounding friends! feel realli xin fu and touched!

went for K session with the sec pals on sat... all bec of wat liang said: can u give me 5 hrs in exchange for the 5 wks we miss? wah! it was too much for me to reject... arhhh... enjoy the singing session and supper with the gals! was so tired after that... slept on the way home... and even break my promise to e friend who waited till 3 plus for me... so bad me! sorry kevin..

ttsh job offer

2007-04-05T20:10:00.002+08:00

YO PPL!!!! i cant wait to share this piece of happi news w all my dearest friends!!! i got a job offer from TTSH! cant believe it!!! i had one hour of viva with yi ming, my ex-lecturer and susan, physio manager... five case studies! scary de... wonder who recommend me in! aw, i am veri happi to be part of TTSH family and will work hard to prove my worth! thanks for all ya encouragements!!! thanks to connie, nkh, sy, hui shan, px, kevin, shu jing, ying... and my family for tellin me it's okie if i don get e job! yap! i be going down nt wed to sign contract, medical checkup and collect my uniform. finally, i can contribute to my family, go for my driving lessons and save for my one year degree conversion @ SIM next year and most importantly, for my business venture with hui shan! funni today, the navy called me to have tea with them and moral hub also offered me a place! haha! i am so happi i'm sure i cant slp tonight!!! wahaha! thanks again to all my friends for sharing all my joy and sadness! i sincerely hope all of us can find our ideal job! e road ahead is full of uncertainty, but i'm sure each of us will venture out bravely and find our own piece of sky! JIA YOU!!!

job interview

2007-04-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

got a shock todae when Bernadine told me that TTSH physio manager is looking for me! was thinkin why?!!! did something bad happen to any of my patients or was i needed for some investigations... it turn out to be good news! they r inviting me for an interview even though i din send in my resume... thought i left a bad impression during my attachment there... attitude problem...me?! haha! so tml, i be going for 2 interviews, moral hub by mistake and TTSH... and another interview from AMKH awaiting... but i am still waiting to hear from AH, CGH n SGH... wish me luck tml ppl... heard there will be 5 case studies! i jus have to be myself...

fufilling day

2007-04-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

a fulfilling day... visit lion befriender and spent 2 hrs there asking ah ma so many qns and doing so many assessments and tests... think my ah ma traumatise! wahaha!!! like nv ending tests... funni translation for DM, incontinent, depression with combination of action, hokkien, hananise and chinese!!! my god! then rushing back to sch to organise the obesity class. so happy it all ended! more things cleared off my mind!

ya, the stress is there. its part of my learning and growing process... something which i cant avoid, something which all o us have to go through... i no longer upset abt it. learnin to forgive and embrace all unhappiness and stress... think i am stronger after today... i am in fact e happiest person according to ausmoon definition! wahaha!!! thanks gal!

2007-04-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

it takes courage to even cry...

was wat connie tell me... and i forgive myself for crying... thanks for being ard...

created beautifully by connie, liang liang

The first time you cried was when you are born: You tell the whole world you are here.

The next incident you cried could be the time you cant find your parents: You tell them they matters.

The other time you cried was going to school: You tell everyone you are going to miss them.

That time you cried was the graduation day: You tell your friends, we are friends forever.
At that unhappy instance, you cried: You show your emotions openly.
When you felt everything was against you, you cried: You tell others i will definitely go through it.
That day you cried: You tell others you are touched.
That afternoon you cried: You forgive.
That night you cried: You felt loved.
Today you cried: You felt happy as your loved ones are still around.

cry on my shoulder

If the hero never comes to you

If you need someone, you're feeling blue

If you wait for love, and you're alone

If you call your friends, nobody's home

You can run away, but you can't hide

Through a storm and through a lonely night

Then I'll show you, there's a destiny

The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: Cry on my shoulder

If you need someone, who cares for you

If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder

Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know

There's a place in heaven, where we'll go

If heaven is a million years away

Oh just call me and I'll make your day

When the nights are getting cold and blue

When the days are getting hard for you

I will always stay by your side

I promise you, I'll never hide

What real love can do

What love can do

a new chia

2007-03-31T19:46:00.000+08:00

went to remove my stitches from my wisdom tooth surgery at AH today! my surgeon gave me a syringe and ask me to flash water into the hole! scare me! and when she demo to me, i got a shock to realise so many food particles bury in e hole! she then referred me to a senior consultant foc for my stained front tooth since young! funni both my dental surgeon and the consultant ask the same qns: what happen??!!! how i know! lol! then wen workin for e last day! menses cramps and dying from hunger but customer was streaming in non-stop. treat li yin to my mum simple packed home cook meal; rice w peanut and mushroom soup! she said she was touched cos e last time she eaten home cooked meal was during cny reunion dinner. on my way home, heavy rain so i decided to go for a haircut while waitin for the rain to stop... feel so light now! w/o my "san qian fan nao shi" !!!

women health exhibition

2007-03-31T07:21:00.000+08:00

had a fun-filled morning with hydrotherapy lesson! then rushing to prepare for our women health exhibition. realise ours is the onli gp with veri veri low budget de. wow! PT r artistic ppl man! everyone seem to invest a lot o money and time into it except for us...wahaha! su ling had little qns for us cos our topic is so factual: exercising in pregnancy! lol! then we went practicing kickboxing for our obesity exercise class on mon!!! sure the whole class is in for a real fun and exciting exercise workout on mon! start of april, 4 more weeks to go!!! i am already all stressed up from the impending stress. omg!!! spinal cord injury assignment, fyp discussion and presentationssss and poster and viva and report, CP viva, geron PBL and assignment, MS and neuro presentation, 2 exams paper all in 4 weeks! hell! + interview? expect no slp!

my first post

2007-03-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

hmm, been almost 3 years since i last blog.

realise i need to start writing to pen down impt events, sort out my thoughts and provide an avenue to share my feelings.

right now, so many bothers me!!! i am trying veri hard to stay focus, to remain passionate, to be appreciative, to be carefree... taking the first step is hard but i cant keep on procrastinating...

i fear of the independence, the working world, the unknown... i wonder if i can provide for my loved ones, to give them generously all the love and comfort. realise passion and reality cannot survive together as u grow up... or perhaps i was too naive in the past to believe all i need is passion to survive.

relationship... i wish i can open my heart more. there a barrier i know, and if i cant tear it down, i can nv allow myself nor others to enter... i wish for courage to love and be loved. i hope someone can pull me out from my past, save me from this solitude...

i fear of the impending stress... graduating in 7 wks time and it seems so far away... cant believe how i actually walk through this 3 years. plz give me courage to run through my last mile. stay focus!!!

chia: to embrace the most negative news with the most positive attitude!!!