.Wednesday, May 30, 2007 ♥
life chapters: stepping into the working world
stepping into the working world soon! feeling a sense of heavy responsibility from myself, my patient, my family, uncertainty, stress, anticipation... mixed feelings. since my last paper, i have not wasted most days. been in love, been to many places of interests, botanical garden, sentosa, underwater world, dolphin lagoon, cable car night viewing, night safari, mt faber etc...have fun, learnt many many precious lessons like how to shower love, how to manage my feelings, better communication at times, realise i hold my words lightly at times; neglecting little promises i made, not making enough effort n channel to show care, concern n love for dear, friends n family, also work like crazy for 3 days for creative cathering @ expo, sentosa n wisma fashion show events. i am glad i spent time with dear, able to share my relationship status to family n many who asked, had so much laughter n memories with shan liang sisters in genting, glad tat hui shan finally talk to me, glad tat i can meet up with poly friends before work n able to exchange updates with px n shu jing over phone, grateful that i can visit my two grandma and grateful tat i still have a chance to make an effort to start showing again more care, concern n love to my sis... i hope to be strong again, make some household decision n changes and share my family burden n problem. i shall be brave! i will embrace everything with the most positive attitude! thanks to all who hear me out. all i ask is ya acknowledgement, ya support, ya assurance, ya smile!
XOXO @ 8:43 AM
.Monday, May 14, 2007 ♥
life chapters: heartache...
very much in love... only 3 weeks into e relationship and i felt like i been through so much... sometimes i feel as sweet as honey, sometimes i feel stringing pain... sometimes i smile and sleep, sometimes i cry to sleep... maintaining a relationship is an art... totally different from being with friends where there is no expectation, jus being together anywhere, anything, anytime... i feel i don deserve this love at all... done a terrible thing somehow and hurt the one i very much loved. i feel so tired, emotionally drained but mentally still fighting on bec i do wanna continue loving n cherishing him... din regret having loved and to give whatever little love i can and to have him... i learnt so much... how to deal w all e misses, opening up with each date, how to shower love, reflecting on what i could have improve on, realising once again how difficult it is to maintain any relationship, what it takes in any relationship and how i take for granted all the love showered on me from friends and family in my life... i need to seriously think n act to make changes i once vow... things r not perfect... and i never expected it to be so but the least i wanted is to learnt how to give love and to let it come in... but i seem to fail both terribly somehow... but i wont give up yet... i haven even try... no matter how hurt i am unwillingly, i wont give up bec he is worth my every love n wait... love is afterall a risk u have to venture bravely. kevin... i do veri much love u so... not asking for forgiveness but asking for a chance to give u xin fu again if i ever make u feel so... i cant help but sorry is the only word i can find... i cant remember how many sorrysss i have said since knowing u... countless... give me some time to settle down again, to express myself truthfully, to understand your thoughts, your world, your dreams, your every words, know, feel n share your feelings and to make an effort n give n make u feel loved over and over!
and I'll never let u go...
XOXO @ 6:04 AM
